The Avoidable Struggle

I hope my son earns a mediocre education.

I hope my daughter marries a sub par person.

I hope my son lands on a career that’s only minimally fulfilling.

I hope my daughter turns out to be second-rate person.

I doubt that any of the above sentiments would be what a parent wishes for their children. In fact, we do our very best to intentionally shape our kids so they can reach their full potential. We discover and nurture their gifts, we pray over their future spouses, we coach them with the wisdom we’ve gained, because you can’t simply leave the aforementioned things up to chance. They are too important.

What about these:

I hope my kids struggle with money issues as they move into adulthood.

I hope it’s one of the stressors between their spouses and them.

I hope they drown in debt and allow their dreams to die with it.

I hope they don’t learn how to properly invest so they can work until they’re 80 and live on social security.

It seems kind of crazy to say those things aloud, but just like the first list, financial success doesn’t just randomly happen. That’s why it’s called “financial literacy.” There is education involved. You can’t just wing it and expect to win.

Money, whether we like it or not, plays an incredibly important role in our day-to-day lives. In fact, with over 2,300 scripture verses on money and possessions, it’s clear that our relationship to finances is an important topic to God. He’s given us all the principles we need in his word because he never intended for us to just “figure it out.”

So what are we specifically doing to set our kids up for financial success?

At the most basic level, Brent and I want our children to think of their money by the following three categories: giving, saving, and spending.

I was fortunate enough to have parents who taught me the importance of giving. Even at an early age, I remember taking a dollar from my weekly chore money and dropping it in the offering plate each weekend at church. Because of that practice, when I landed my first job, tithing was just a natural part of cashing my paycheck. When Brent and I were newly married and barely had two nickels to rub together, we didn’t question whether or not to tithe. It was the first thing that came out of our paychecks, our act of gratitude to God that he had made us able bodied enough to work. And even though in our early years of marriage we rarely had date nights, we turned down family trips or group hangouts, we didn’t buy new cars, and we simply lived within our means, we understood one very important truth: You cannot out give God. We knew if we were good stewards of our resources, he would always take care of us (Matthew 25:20-21), and he has not failed us yet.

Beyond just giving to the church, I witnessed so many acts of generosity from my parents bestowed on others. Generosity is a thread of my family’s identity, and I want it to be woven through my own children’s lives. 

We started our adventure to instill basic biblical financial principles with our daughter when she was only four. Very simply, she got three dollars a week to put in three different envelopes: giving, sharing, and saving. Seth is currently on this program.

Now that she is headed into middle school and VERY MUCH into shopping, we’ve decided she is due for a raise, especially since she’s able to help me with a lot more around the house than she used to.

To be clear, there are certain things my daughter is just expected to do, without pay, as a contributing member of our household. However, we also want to teach her the correlation between work and getting paid, hence the term “commission” instead of “allowance.” This also allows her to have consistency in giving to the church on a weekly basis to help form that habit. 

Brent and I still buy her things throughout the year that she wants, but it’s incredible to see how much more careful she is with her decision making if it’s her own money she has to spend. Again, another valuable life lesson in determining if you truly want/need something. 

Here’s a sample of her chore list, and below it is a link to open a copy and edit it if you find this to be a resource you might use. 

Give, Save, Spend.

So what is an almost twelve year old saving for? A car.

It’s no surprise to my daughter that her father and I are not just buying her a car when she turns sixteen, even though we could afford to do so. We’ve been telling her for a long time that it’s part of her responsibility to save for the car she wants, and she can’t wait until she gets her first job unless she wants to drive a jalopy. This is teaching her to save for a long-term goal, and not to just flippantly live in the moment. We DID tell her that we are willing to match whatever she saves. So, if she saves 4K for a car, we will put in 4K. Brent and I both believe making our kids take ownership in such a big purchase like that has so many valuable life-long lessons. I know this because my parents gave me the very same gift when they matched what I saved for my first car.

How in the world can a kid save for her own car? Slow and steady. To date, without her even working her first job, she has already managed to save over $1,200. This has come from her own decision to always save some of the money she earns and even receives as gifts for her birthday or for Christmas. Brent and I don’t force her. We gently remind her of her goal, and she alone decides if and what she wants me to deposit into her savings account.

This is just phase two of her financial education. There’s still so much for her to learn. As she continues to get older, there are next steps as we teach her how to win with money, but for now, I’m excited for all she will be learning through the biblical discipline of working, earning, giving, saving, and spending.

If this is all new information to you and you would like additional resources, just holler! Brent and I are so passionate about this topic because, and I’m not being flippant, it is life-changing. We are always so happy and willing to help!