Where is the Balance?

The ugly truth: more often than not, I put my career above my family. Not because I care more about my job (though my actions would say otherwise), but because it seems like I have a never-ending to-do list at work. Once I cross something off the list, three more items appear. I’m constantly treading the water of planning, emailing, managing, grading, followed by more planning, more emailing, more managing, and more grading. My metaphorical legs are rubber by the time I get home. What does my family get? The leftovers, and not the kind that makes you glad you ordered extra noodles with yum-yum sauce.

To help me stay organized, I keep a home to-do list and a separate school to-do list.  As soon as I think of something that needs to be done, I immediately add it to the appropriate list so I can manage all the things. Here’s what these lists look like: 

What I didn’t realize was that to achieve the unicorn known as life balance, I need to have a third list.

I received Christy Wright’s Take Back Your Time as a Christmas gift (okay, fine, I bought it for myself because Brent and I have resorted to buying our own Christmas presents) and I couldn’t wait to dive in. The front cover is her leaning against a table with her shoes kicked off looking well rested. And she’s smiling. She’s smiling. She must know something I don’t know.

In the introduction, she defines what true life balance actually is:

To be honest, I haven’t read any more of the book yet, but it spurred an idea for me to create a third list. My PRIORITIES list. This list is different than the other two in that it is mandatory that I cross everything off the list before I go to bed at night. I rewrite the list every morning. Because the truth is, if I allow what’s really important to me to be pushed off to the next day, and then the next, I’m going to be looking at my family fifteen years from now with regret. Do I want to do my best at work? Absolutely. Do I need all the to-do list items for home crossed off my list? Yes, at some point. But I’m done sacrificing the important things in life and treating them like they are the slack. My faith, my husband, my children, and my health should be seated above all else. 

Here’s my list from one day this week:

The top three items are repeated every day. What I do for my husband and kids changes because I’m looking for ways to speak their love language.

We all know these things to be true, in theory. But for many of us, it might take something, as simple as it might be, as a priorities list to help us be intentional in carrying out this truth.

Blessings,

Beverly