The Writer and the Wrench

It’s hard to believe that ten years ago today, my husband and I tied the knot. Of course, I made sure it was a constrictor knot. To date, he has not escaped. I honestly was a baby when we got married, and he an adult. In fact, in the 9 years that separate us, it’s crazy for me to think that I’ve just passed the age that he was when we first got married. My! How my perspective on life has changed. Just recently, Brent was asked to share what he believed has strengthened our marriage throughout the years. Interestingly enough, this person (who has hit a bit of a…

If Satan were a bodily organ, he would certainly be a child’s bladder on an already 10-minute late commute to church on a Sunday morning. Just last week, I finished reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book Unglued. Toward the end of the book, she covers the importance of observing and preserving the Sabbath. Brent and I used to be really good at going nutso on Friday and Saturday so that Sunday was a day of physical, mental, and emotional rest. We even went to church on Saturday night, because getting kids ready for church does not put me in a Sabbath state of mind. As of late, we have somehow managed to move back into…

A week and a half ago, I caught a cup of coffee with a girlfriend to tear open my heart about something I knew only she would understand, and therefore, not stand in judgment. During the course of our conversation, we began discussing social media and how it affects our day-to-day functioning. I told her if I had the guts, I would love to completely unplug for a whole year, go back to a flip phone and all. If you’ve followed my blog since the beginning, you know that this is something I contemplate at least once a year. The reality is, I have more important things to do with…

I’m not a coupon queen or a penny pincher, but I love feeling like I get my money’s worth. The following is a list of EASY practices I use to save time, money, and frustration. Always operate within a budget. The one way to guarantee buyer’s remorse is to spend more money than you have. Just remember, being in style and having the latest and greatest isn’t a necessity. Shop Goodwill if you like or must. Also, when you limit yourself, it’s easier to say “no” to impulse buying. For added savings, use cash. People statistically spend less when they hand over paper as opposed to swiping plastic. Routinely clean out…

We all know some variation of the well-meaning phrase, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never harm me.” In fact, most of us were taught to recite something like this in an attempt to protect ourselves from word grenades. What a dangerous lie. In my adult life, I’ve come to understand that sticks and stones can break some bones, but words can nearly kill you. I’ve had very hurtful things said to and about me over the course of my life. And though it’s painful to admit, I’ve said hurtful things as well. Just ask those closest to me. Most of the time, people blind themselves to the…

Last week, I came across a Facebook sticker that claimed the following: Food is the most abused anxiety drug.Exercise is the most underutilized antidepressant. I agree with the generality of this statement. There are people who abuse food as a coping mechanism, and exercise is proven to release endorphins. True and true. But, I did what you’re not supposed to do: read the comments. A lady who apparently has never suffered from chronic depression decided to impart her expertise about the issue. Bless her heart. “Feed the homeless and hungry. Take a poor person to lunch. That is a great antidepressant…thinking of someone other than me me me.” I wish…

We don’t fall in love gracefully.Our hearts are intruded uponBy Cupid’s golden point.Lodged,It infectsFrustrating all reasonMaking us damaged and erraticCaptive and taking commandsFrom a synthetic chemical. But we can snatch the arrow from our chestsYes, the barbs will rip the heartAnd cause you to bleed out.Maybe even die.But sometimes, loving anotherIs a fate far worse than death.

What’s the matter with matter?We’re all made of it.Protons, neutrons, and electrons.Teeny, tiny atoms.Yet not so small when the atomic bomb was dropped. Now they package them for baths.

The fake out happened when we were taughtThe smooth curvaturesAnd piercing point of the heartPerfectly symmetricalEmpty bubbles to be colored inPink and red.It became sweet confectionsThat dissolved sticky on our tonguesAnd the emblem of forbidden notes. But it wasn’t untilWe slit the skin and cracked the ribsTo expose a heart.The heart.KnottedTubes sprawling in all directionsVeiny, crimson and gory,And a beat hanging on for dear life,That I understood why love is such a mess.

I was tuning each breath to the tick of a clockWhen the words tumbled out of your mouthEach letter dripping with syrupSticky and sweet.In my ears they flewWhipping around the twisted curves of my brainUntil recognition forced them to whiplash.The pulp that was created began dripping downThe column of my spine.Slowly it infected my heartAnd brewed with what I already knew.The awakening forced air into my lungsAnd what I heard yesterdayDesired liberation.“Don’t tell anyone,” she had whispered.So I choked the twisted letters back downForcing submission with each swallowThe crooks and edges scraping the back of my throatAll of the way down to the tomb of my stomachWhere they will dissolveAnd…

if we resisted all of the friction… we would be found orbiting the planet-weightless-friendless-loveless-childless-hopeless

in an attempt to be self-awarestraightforwardsincerehe frequented thrift storeslistened to folk musicsipped on fair trade coffeeand attended grass-roots campaigns.he created countless adventuresstating that danger was subjective.none of those things could be accomplishedthough, without the snap of a pictureand an upload eliciting favor and praise,the proof of what it is like to be alive. trespassing,his last picture was standing in the middleof a train trestle, suspended over a canyonthe caption comprised of Gundersen lyrics,“here I stand in the landof the rocks in the valley,trying to be a better man.” but being authentic does not equal invincibility.the conductor still has nightmares.