Celebrating “Failures”

My kid scored poorly on an assessment, and we celebrated with ice cream.

We celebrated the four hours over four days she spent studying for a simple quiz.

We celebrated her ability to teach the lesson back to me.

We celebrated her success in completing the online review without missing a single question.

We celebrated because regardless of whether an assessment gave her the score she desperately desired, she knew the information.

When I picked her up from school, I knew that quiz score would undoubtedly throw her on the “what’s the point” treadmill. She would be frustrated and tempted to listen to a deceitful voice whispering that she’s not smart enough. That hard work doesn’t pay off.

And while it’s okay to experience and process those feelings, I don’t want my kid to camp out too long in the shadow of defeat and discouragement.

In this particular instance, the fruit of her labor didn’t yield a juicy high score. Instead, the fruit of her labor yielded discipline and perseverance that strengthened the trunk and branches of a healthy tree that will serve her well in life. A tree that is sure to bear fruit in unfathomable ways in the future. 

Do we celebrate performance in this house? Absolutely.

But moms and dads, it’s also okay to celebrate work ethic, dedication, and understanding, even when an assessment doesn’t reflect it. 

Her score wasn’t worth celebrating. Her work was. And thankfully, both of them pair nicely with sprinkles.