Friendship and Loneliness

Having friends and being known are not always the same thing. 

I’ve been turning this sentiment over and over in my mind. It’s the kid others see walking and talking with friends between classes, seemingly having found their people. Their place. Their tribe. Yet they come home and cry because they are lonely. Crying because these are supposed to be some of the best years of their life, yet they just want them to be over.

It’s the kid who has “friends,” but spends three months of summer uninvited to social events or even a simple hangout. The kid who waits for friendly text messages that will never come. The kid who has friends within the boundaries of the school day, but rarely beyond them. 

And it makes me think of how many people out there might be lonely. Not just kids. Adults, too. Especially those who can find themselves surrounded by people yet still have a deep yearning to be known. To be seen. To be valued. To be chosen. 

So don’t assume that just because someone seems to have friends that they feel known. Notice the person who is usually quiet. Invite people to join your group. Send that encouraging text message to an unassuming recipient. Check in when you know someone is having a hard day. Make room for the person who seems to always be standing just outside the circle. 

Don’t confuse being surrounded by people with being connected to people. 

Blessed is the one surrounded by friends while also being fully known. What a gift.